children and the ex issues

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children and the ex issues

Postby lina23 » 30 Apr 2013, 15:02

Lately, I have been dealing with a lot of problems in behaviour and attitude from bfs kids. His ex makes it hard and is always talking terrible to us and about us to them.

What is she saying to the kids about me?

4 of cups - so she must be telling them how she lost their father to me and she is so wrapped up in herself she is pushing blame on me. ( i say this bc the kids are always saying he loves me more than them, etc.)

9 of wands - its about her constantly pushing and drilling these thoughts in their heads.

Stregnth - is about the control she is trying to gain on them by talking bad about me to them causing them to be mentally manipulated.

Any thoughts. this is a hot topic for me, so hard to stay clear when i read these cards
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Re: children and the ex issues

Postby Aoibhegreine » 30 Apr 2013, 15:45

urgh, bloody internet. Logged me out and I lost my long post which I'm not rewritting. Basically went like this. Asking the cards about someone else is considered unethical. Furthermore what she says to her kids is her right and has nothing to do with you. You can only control what you do and that is where you should focus. That reading you did to me is answering the question you should have asked: How best to deal with this situation, rather than the one actually asked. Here's my interpretation:

4 of cups: Don't let yourself be distracted by her and what she says. Those are her actions and not yours. Focus on what you can do and make sure it's the best way.

9 of wands: Things are going to be tough and you have two choices: a) walk away b) stay, get a grip and deal with the situation.

Strength: Reign in your basic instincts. Do not let things get to you. Be strong in your dealings with them and be firm.

Good luck and I hope it works out.
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Re: children and the ex issues

Postby lina23 » 30 Apr 2013, 16:17

Thanks! it is funny you say how you read it based on how i should have worded it because at first i thought it was directed that way too. especially bc i am a leo and stregnth is a leo... = )

as for dealing with it, i have learned to handle her, but we have 8 kids total (including my 2). We are doing the best we can. and I will continue to be strong.

Thanks again!
Aoibhegreine wrote:urgh, bloody internet. Logged me out and I lost my long post which I'm not rewritting. Basically went like this. Asking the cards about someone else is considered unethical. Furthermore what she says to her kids is her right and has nothing to do with you. You can only control what you do and that is where you should focus. That reading you did to me is answering the question you should have asked: How best to deal with this situation, rather than the one actually asked. Here's my interpretation:

4 of cups: Don't let yourself be distracted by her and what she says. Those are her actions and not yours. Focus on what you can do and make sure it's the best way.

9 of wands: Things are going to be tough and you have two choices: a) walk away b) stay, get a grip and deal with the situation.

Strength: Reign in your basic instincts. Do not let things get to you. Be strong in your dealings with them and be firm.

Good luck and I hope it works out.
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Re: children and the ex issues

Postby Aoibhegreine » 01 May 2013, 00:27

8 kids, sheesh. Good luck
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Re: children and the ex issues

Postby susanl » 07 May 2013, 20:23

I've nothing to add to Aoibhe's excellent reading.

Except I have to admit that your boasting about your ex's children claiming to love you more than her sounds mean and vindictive. I'm sure it's a frustrating situation but the post kinda comes across wrong for me, sorry.
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Re: children and the ex issues

Postby prc » 10 May 2013, 11:41

ok, i'm going to first say that it isn't fair to read cards on what another person is thinking/feeling/telling the kids. as has been pointed out here, it isn't anyone's business unless the person doing the thinking/feeling/telling chooses to make them known to you... second, the cards are very likely a reflection of YOUR thoughts on the ex, and not necessarily the thoughts or actions of the ex. third, even if the ex says something in your presence, it is a snapshot, not an entire picture. even though you may have the most wonderful and communicative relationship with your boyfriend, you truly have no real idea about what went on between them in a relationship that was very intimate and between them only--you only have someone's word, usually skewed to favor the person doing the telling.

i haven't read the other posts on this thread, but i would suggest you go back and ask something more along the lines of, "how can i help navigate this negative behavior" or something like that. your post comes across as completely unfair to the ex.
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