I have noticed, in retrospect, that i have put emotions away deep downs inside.. from childhood, mostly negative ones. I didn't know how to express them but whine like a 2 year old; whilst having good language skills.. i'd get the reaction "stop whining, act normally, just say it!".. which worked counterproductive.
I didn't know what to say.. nor felt like using old approach, so i stopped expressing.
A few years back this all became clear to me and i started some emotional work, meditation, etc.
Monkey Mind is giving me a hard time.. setting too big goals to reach, not taking it step by step, and with that falling over and over again.. Noticing sadness first, but lately mostly anger.
Seeing through Minds antics.. it all just being stories, which i can rewrite. i still notice anger being an issue.
Any tips how to reïntroduce compassion for self and certain others, please share. I notice avoiding people near and dear to me.. feeling ashamed of my behaviour and of pushing them away whilst they have been and still are there for me.. Yep, on me, me, me island.. loving to be back on more openminded and openhearted we'llness.
Any support and advise is very welcome!
Restarting meditation, which has been very few times last 3 months..
Thanks in advance!