hello guys... i am in need of some love and healing this morning, as i have ended a long time "friendship" that i could not quite wrap my head around. it did not end on the most positive of notes, but oh well. i will just put the scenario out there, even though i know i have been foolish. any healing vibes are greatly appreciated. also jan, i tried to directly contact the healing team through the link but it says the link is broken.
i have a guy "friend" that i have known for several years. jan will probably know who i am talking about... he was a neighbor (married), they moved, they got divorced less than a month ago. after they moved and things broke off between he and his wife, he called me and we picked back up with our "friendship". i put the word in quotes because it felt like i had way more concern for him and his plight than he had interest in my life. he has since moved several hundred miles away in order to be with his family (directly after they broke up, about two and a half months ago). he is someone that i have an attraction to, and there had been several times during the course of his time living down the street from me that he would want to be more than a friend with me, so i worked very hard and kept my distance, even though i felt rather sorry for him as i would see and hear his wife treat him terribly. but then i felt sorry for her, too. any way, like i said as soon as they broke up he called me (he was already miles away) and we resumed talking on the phone once or twice a week. when he came to town to visit his kids he would visit me as well, but it has only been a few times. on one of the occasions of his visit we had a few drinks and ended up sleeping together (the only time we have done that), but it was me who initiated it. it wasn't anything sweet and tender. it was straight up physical, and i ended up feeling rather confused, and kept my distance a bit. he told me he didn't want anything like that, that he didn't want a girlfriend or even a "friends with benefits" type of situation, which i agreed to, but given his hot pursuit of me in the past, was a little confused by. well, he has girlfriends. he talks about them. it's not that i really care so much about that, it's that he sometimes seem to think i'm one of the guys and i flat out told him that i am not a guy and i wasn't up for hearing how great his girlfriend was. he seemed ok with that, but then yesterday he called me and was telling me about how his girlfriend is upset that he will be moving, even though it will be only two hours away and that i guess he still wanted a relationship with her. i assume that is what he was getting at. any way, i just hung up because i didn't want to hear it, which wasn't the most mature way to handle things, i know. of course this upset him, and he left a voice message saying he didn't know what he was supposed to talk to me about and that these other females were just a part of his life. he said something like "you don't want me to talk to you like a boyfriend (i'm assuming based on the past when he lived up the street from me and was married?), you don't want me to talk to you like you're a guy, you don't want me to talk about other females in my life and i don't know what the hell to talk to you about!" i called him back but ended up leaving a message. i just kind of broke down and said i was sorry and that i was struggling and it was hard for me because i did have an attraction to him and this was all rather difficult. i sent him a text (the voice mail cut off) saying that it might be best to put our friendship on hold for a bit. he texted back this morning that he agrees since i seem to be having a hard time with it. i called hoping to end things on a more positive note, but of course he didn't answer so i just left a voice message. i felt like things were very one sided, any way. but i told him i was sorry and that i wished him well and hoped for good things for him. i told him things felt rather one sided, and that i had an attraction to him, so i guess this was best. i've known for some time that it was one of those friendships where he was getting more out of it than i was. i cried when i read his text this morning, but kept from crying when i left the message. but i guess that is it, and although i'm hoping that i've done the right thing, it hurts like hell. i have too much to do to let it bog me down, but i can't stop crying right now.
i'm sorry this is so long, but thank you for taking the time to read it. i really need some help to get through this.
Last edited by prc
on 01 Jan 1970, 00:00, edited 0 times in total.