Anger

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Anger

Postby seedling » 20 Oct 2016, 03:33

I have noticed, in retrospect, that i have put emotions away deep downs inside.. from childhood, mostly negative ones. I didn't know how to express them but whine like a 2 year old; whilst having good language skills.. i'd get the reaction "stop whining, act normally, just say it!".. which worked counterproductive.
I didn't know what to say.. nor felt like using old approach, so i stopped expressing.

A few years back this all became clear to me and i started some emotional work, meditation, etc.
Monkey Mind is giving me a hard time.. setting too big goals to reach, not taking it step by step, and with that falling over and over again.. Noticing sadness first, but lately mostly anger.

Seeing through Minds antics.. it all just being stories, which i can rewrite. i still notice anger being an issue.
Any tips how to reïntroduce compassion for self and certain others, please share. I notice avoiding people near and dear to me.. feeling ashamed of my behaviour and of pushing them away whilst they have been and still are there for me.. Yep, on me, me, me island.. loving to be back on more openminded and openhearted we'llness.

Any support and advise is very welcome!
Restarting meditation, which has been very few times last 3 months..
Thanks in advance! :hello:
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Re: Anger

Postby Aoibhegreine » 21 Oct 2016, 09:16

I know how you feel. Emotions are an enigma to me. Oh, I feel but I would rather not so I bury them deep, particularly painful ones. But recently I've been angry, so so angry about how I'm treated, about my life, to the point where I cried myself to sleep.

Here's the thing though. It's ok to be angry. It's ok to feel those emotions, it's the only way to deal with them. What we can't do is move in here. I am recognising the bad behaviour of others for exactly what it is, them acting out in pain and taking it out on me. Well, no more. I'm me. I'm worth a hell of a lot more than a possession, an asset, or some scum under someones shoe. I am a person and if no one sees that or respects that that's on them. I hereby invoke the statement of :"I shall do no harm but take no shit!"

It's hard, not gonna lie, and I'm walking this one alone which is sad but I'd rather be strong and alone than weakened by a family who can't even bring themselves to talk to me.
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Re: Anger

Postby Jan » 22 Oct 2016, 19:24

I agree with the whole idea that feeling our own anger is essential. For me feeling angry is an indication something has gone altogether too far against my tolerance muscle.

I have had...and still do at times...had a bad habit of converting hurt into anger....this learned when I was very young. I do try to jump into the middle of that one, and give myself the space to acknowledge my pain in the raw, so to speak. But this does not stop anger, nor frustration..... If you think about it some angry and frustrated feelings are actually quite clean - they express our reactions to events and circumstances. Thing is though...it is maybe quite helpful to regard them as transient....and maybe the powerful energies that can be gathered and directed constructively. If we see them as springboards to somewhere else maybe they are a little easier to handle.

But muffling anger is never going to work - I think that's how it turns inward.....we believe it is wrong to express, we want desperately to be "right" so we try to shut ourselves down. The anger does not go. Instead it eats away at the only thing we have left for it - ourselves. And then it turns to bitterness.

I've always regarded emotions as somewhat uncontrollable little animals that run about in a very unruly fashion.....playpens and expression are usually the answer ;-)

Be safe honey......

Maybe it's time to tell some of those people close to you that you feel angry. We can express anger without directing it anybody if we feel like it's an OK emotion (unruly though) in the first place.

Loadsa love
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Re: Anger

Postby Aoibhegreine » 22 Oct 2016, 19:44

Today I wrote all the 'bad' things down on a piece of toilet paper. I felt the anger as I wrote all of it down and then I flushed it away before filling myself up with white light. I am angry and I accept that but I will not live there. If I live with anger then I'm allowing others to dictate my feelings and that's not right. I've been hurt. I can either let the hurt crush me and they win or I can take the hurt, learn from it before stepping over it to something better. I'm just sad my parents can't see what I am but that's there choice, I can't let it define me.

It's hard though. Somedays I just wish someone would hug me and tell me it's all going to be ok. But for right now, that person is me.
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Re: Anger

Postby seedling » 31 Oct 2016, 10:36

Concentrating on non-violent communication presently..
Things are as they are.

And also an important element: what are my needs and which needs are met or not. And what can i do to change that.. or what can i ask as for help from others..

That still leaves room for emotions, but moreover concentrates at the cause.. without judgement!
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Re: Anger

Postby prc » 11 Dec 2016, 20:52

wish i had better reply, or maybe this one is ok: it's ok to be angry. we don't walk around with it forever and ever, do we? is it your general way of being? if it is, ask yourself if your bored. but, be angry if you need to. you'll work out why, but not if you're first too worried about being angry. i'm angry when something bad happens to me, but i'm told i have to be nice about it. argh... bullshishkabobs! some things really get me going... ;) but i'm cool with it. we're all just human, we're all just trying to get by.
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Re: Anger

Postby seedling » 04 May 2017, 06:36

Gracias you all :hug:
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